Category Archives: Lime Flavored

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Journal of the Emerald Specter 59: Content is King

I’m not entirely sure what kind of banners I should use for this particular article. This is going to be another attempt at a full length article here, but I’ll be touching on different types of content (podcasts, articles, YouTube, storytelling, etc)… so, why don’t I do what I think I need to and just go ahead and make something custom?

I am all about making content. Content is the easiest thing I can produce without needing to be doing something for a living, somewhere specific, for someone else. Sometimes that content may seem erratic, sometimes that content may seem like a waste of time, but the content is always accomplishing the task of putting something on this site to keep people poking back to see what else I’m doing.

Last year, I started doing the ESPL (Emerald Specter Premier League) based on a project that I love from the Chris Creamer Sports Logos Concept forum, which is basically creating a league and developing the logos from their initial appearance until the modern day. In that thread, the AFA is in their 1987 year… the thread is HUGE. I bring this up because I had an epiphany the other day.

So, when I was running the ESPL, I had a big concentration on what was happening in the games (and the league) from week to week, with a passing “side enterprise” with the designing of logos (which was the whole reason I started the damn thing up in the first place). Veras (the creator of the AFA thread) runs some simulations in the background and gives some broader recap rather than an in-depth look “from game to game,” with a heavy concentration on what the whole point of the thread is: logo, uniform, and field designs.

Unless I wanted to go back in time and start doing the ESPL in some randomly selected year in the past and work my way forward, that approach won’t necessarily work for me. I do realize that the reason the interest waned somewhat was that I was being bogged down in the tedium of running a fictional league “in real time” rather than enjoying the process of creating concepts for the logos, uniforms, and whatever else… If I were to rebirth this concept, I’d be concentrating on the broader overviews of the ESPL and keeping the week to week format, but being far more general as I released the uniform and logo concepts throughout the year in a longer format (instead of a big logo reveal extravaganza followed by the tedium of details of the league).

Would you like to see a second attempt at the ESPL?

I have several podcasts at the moment that I’m enjoying producing with several others I’ve got in the “concept” stage. The Greatest Show, my long running YouTube (and our original channel) show that initially started out as a pre-produced show and turned into a live show (followed by a more produced version, so that I can release audio versions of the show again on a feed). The show was started with a forum for my best friend, Bob, and I to have conversations about “the good old days,” geeky topics, and whatever else crossed our minds.

The show developed into the conversations while watching my wife make wonderful food, which enjoyed a solid run of interest from all kinds of folks, and saw an uptick in our traffic. We developed into a later night show, moved away from the cooking segment, and added a whole slew of other hosts (as Bob was having a hard time making appearances). What we have going now is an attempt at running the show in seasons, rather than continuously, and we’ve only got experiments to run as we figure out what the next stage of the show is…

And speaking of that, we’ve added a regular rotation of guests into the mix. I got a good push of guests right up front and have since had an issue lining up more as the season progresses. I’m doing what I can but the effort is monumental in scope and I’m hoping to have a better process for the future.

I wanted to speak about this show specifically at length because there is an issue that has arisen where Saturday nights, while they work for the majority of the cast, don’t seem to be able to include everyone AND our viewership seems to have declined (in the live arena, anyway) because of the time slot. Metal Jesus has school, Rachel has a new job, Bob’s job is giant in scope, I have a fluctuating schedule, Kevin C. has activities from time to time, and Tricia doesn’t believe the time slot is convenient. All of these things make it hard to continue the show in the original vision and I’d be interested in getting some thoughts on the possible future of the show.

Options, before I move on, include returning to the “pre-produced” and uploaded version from way back, the cooking while talking version, and moving the recording time to a variable option to open up the possible guests that can be included in the future. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

The Specter Show is my personal show, which has only been me talking to the audience (save one episode that included me talking to my wife). In a conversation with my wife, I was told that I spend a lot of time talking about what I’m going to do rather than doing what I say I’m going to do. A good example of that is the BuJoRPG 2 beta, which hasn’t been touched at all in a month… more on that in a few paragraphs.

I originally wanted to keep the Specter Show “off the rails” so that I could talk about anything I wanted without worrying about sticking to a genre or topic. While that has worked in large part, there are episodes I’m not super pleased with because I’ve just sort of muted through and released a show to release a show.

One of the original intents of podcasting, for me, was to present myself as a viable radio personality that could carry a show for 30, 60, or 120 minutes (or maybe even longer). I’ve dropped my desire to be on the radio, not because I’ve lost interest, but because the radio isn’t going to allow me to accomplish the expansion that podcasting will… and that leads me to a history lesson of sorts.

When I originally launched the Lime Flavored Podcasting Network, I had the vision to create a lineup of shows that would give me a place to talk about a multitude of topics and build up a network like TWiT, which has blossomed into a viable podcasting business. The reason that TWiT works as well as it does is because they have a broad umbrella under which they operate: tech related podcasting.

The LFPN had an expanded topic lineup: the Greatest Show, the Lime Flavored Podcast (which made it to 50 episodes), Limelight on Apple (our tech news show), Echoes Darkly (our RPG centric podcast), and Comic Cast (our comic book industry show). When we (my wife and I) were into FitBit deeply, we also sort of launched a half hearted attempt at a fitness show, known as the FitBit Challenge… all of these shows collapsed for one reason or another except one, the Greatest Show. (In order listed above after the Greatest Show): one show stopped because the domain was sold, keeping up on tech was tough to maintain with busy lives, my co-hosts all became unavailable, and we just weren’t collecting or reading as much as we’d like to have been… that all led to the LFPN death, mainly with the loss of the domain, and a reevaluation of my dream.

I’ve currently got three podcasts running, with one in a concept phase. The Greatest Show, the Specter Show, and the PRO Chess League Podcast (new, concentrating on the PRO Chess League). Since the last one hasn’t been running (due to the season starting in January), I’m confident that keeping up with three shows is a distinct possibility. I’ve offered shows to Kevin C., Metal Jesus, Bob, and Rachel… all of them are in some stage of development, but we’ll see what develops there. This is a good start, but as the title of this column says: content is king. Only three of these are producing any content.

Now I come to my “bread and butter,” the BuJoRPG. Since launching my initial bullet journal roleplaying game, I have developed that as far as I felt it could go before bringing out the next concept for what I thought was possibly, namely BuJoRPG 2. I had promised to release the first “version” (a post-beta) as it was developed but I’ll be honest, I’ve not had the time. I also haven’t MADE the time, either.

This is where my wife’s comments about talking about something and not doing it come in.

I have a concept for what I want the BuJoRPG to ideally become. That requires a lot of work and with the release of the open beta, I’ve asked for help and feedback. Since releasing that open beta, I’ve received neither help nor feedback on the BuJoRPG 2, making me think the effort is being wasted. Without a drive of an audience to see the result, I can’t be faulted for not wanting to work on the product. Would you like to know what I envision for this in the future?

Ideally, you’d order something I’ll just call the “BuJo Box.” The box will be prepacked and contain (at least, but not limited to): a lore book (for the BuJoRPG world of the Jade Realm), a preformatted bullet journal (for the BuJoRPG), some bullet journal pens (in various colors), some dice (since they are part of the BuJoRPG 2), a wall map of the Jade Realm (it would unfold to include the “basic” map, which is everything before “expansions”), and maybe some stencils to aid in the creation of the BuJoRPG style graphical elements.

Doesn’t that sound nifty?

Finally, I’d like to talk about some of the things I’d planned on for the future but will decide whether or not they’ll make the cut. These each will be a “mini-paragraph” of information, just to explain enough to let you know what I was hoping to do but might not actually develop it (to shut the door on the “talk about doing what you should be doing but aren’t” conversation).

A podcast for each degree of the Freemason Scottish (and York) Rite, as I wanted to learn the lessons they teach but do not like the religious overtones within the brotherhood. I’ve got all the materials ready, I’ve read what I need to, now I just need to put fingers to keyboard to write up the material and start recording. This is a “monthly” podcast, rather than a weekly one.

Serial fiction has been written, not edited by any of the editors that I’ve enlisted, and sits collecting digital dust in the cloud. With the Greatest Show crew talking about running an RPG before the show, this is being converted into the game that I’ll be running (inside the Green Ronin Fantasy AGE system, although probably more closely related to Will Wheaton’s TitansGrave version). There are modifications that I’ve made to the story but the general theory is in tact.

A re-release of SpecterFit, my fitness centric blog/column/podcast that would help you along your own personal journey to getting more healthy. Since I’ve been injured, I can’t really do much other than eat healthier and I haven’t written or podcasted about this at any length, so it’s sitting in development hell.

Specter of the Galaxy, which I’d intended to play No Man’s Sky at least weekly with the release of their Waking Titan release, I’ve taken multiple weeks off between the second to last and last podcast that have made the future of this in doubt… I just haven’t had the time with everything else going on.

In a few months, or within a few months, the Fire Pro Wrestling World game will be released on PS4 and I had intended to run a new eFed (electronic federation) on Emerald Specter.com, which I haven’t run anything like this since 2002! The original eFeds from “back in the day” were all angle or RP feds, the FPW World fed would be a CAW (create-a-wrestler) style fed… but that requires a little bit of time.

With the declining interest in the “Greatest Show Fight Series,” I thought that running a two division UFC fighting league might be a possibility without centering around the hosts of the Greatest Show… but I’d likely wait for the next release of the UFC (UFC 3) before doing anything like this, leaving this dormant.

Spawning from the aforementioned “serial fiction” paragraph (since I have the planet’s entire history mapped out), I was going to launch a SIM (similar to those run on Obsidian Fleet) within this story’s universe… my server died, was resurrected, and requires lengthy work to get this to where it would allow me to do this, and I’d need a lot of help getting the flagship SIM working so that expansion into other “ships” would be possible.

Quite a list, huh?

Well, I’m hoping to get things moving in a generally positive direction. With the end of 2017 comes the “behind the scenes” development of a new look for Emerald Specter.com, which has been planned for some time. I’m running through some concepts and will have something to launch whenever that is ready… but it is actively being worked on. With this new release, I would conceivably use that refresh as a way to relaunch things that went dormant, launch new things I’ve talked about here, or just freshen up the graphics on the site as a whole.

I’m done talking about doing things and not doing them… I’m going to do things, now.

Right now.

Emerald Specter 45: The Roundup

It’s been a while since I’ve written a column. The time seems to be right, as there are several things that are going to be happening that I’d like to let everyone know about just before things start happening. Rather than preamble about vagaries, why don’t we just get to the meat of this column? There will be bolded topic headers this time, so you can skip past the parts you don’t care about reading about.

The Greatest Show

When Bob and I started the Greatest Show a little over three years ago, we just wanted to have fun conversations and talk about all kinds of neat stuff. We would get the occasional guest, plenty of viewership, and we would just have a grand old time.

I miss those days.

Once we got past the 50th Epiversary, things started to change. This is not a bad thing, but they changed nonetheless. We didn’t necessarily get together as often, or we started adding the next wave of hosts (Kevin Couick, “Metal Jesus” Kevin Lama, with appearances by Rachel, Saurabh, Miss Miniver, and Quinny from the Periodic Table of Awesome Podcast). Some shows were themed, some had an “anchor topic,” and other shows just sort of meandered about having no real direction.

We had some big hits (the lure topic, which does contain instructions, in The Greatest Show 89: How to Hide Porn on Your iPhone) and some accidents (The Greatest Show 84 Parts 1 & 2, which were filmed while I was watching UFC 200 and some folks thought I was illegally live streaming it).

As far as the latest news, there has been trouble determining how to get everyone together for one big show. I attempted to do it on episode 100 (where we had Bob, both Kevins, Tricia, and myself… though I was attempting to get on all past hosts like Saurabh, Carl, and Morgan) and also for other shows (like the Miss Miniver and Quinny appearances, where we had shorter casts than normal both times).

We still have issues. We are all adults living adult lives and doing regular living of life. Saurabh has a job where he can’t really make tons of plans to appear because of a pseudo-“on call” status. Bob has a job where he’s working tons of hours and the shifts aren’t always the best. Metal Jesus has RPGs that come up from time to time and he doesn’t want to miss them. Kevin Couick has his own rounds of gaming he does that interferes sometimes. Rachel has school and work, which for a student is a hectic schedule. Tricia and I would love a few weekends off, and since I’m the driving force behind the show, that doesn’t happen nearly often enough.

This Saturday, on June 17, we will be having The Greatest Show 135. There will then be following (sometime before the end of June) the very last “scheduled” Greatest Show Fight Series. After the GSFS, the Greatest Show will be going on hiatus until September 9, when the Rose City Comic Con is in Portland and we have a load of geek to talk about again.

I’m sad the show is taking another extended break but everyone needs some time. We talked about shifting the recording time but no one can agree on what is best, which gives me an idea to have at least two casts that rotate but we’ll see how that works out in the future. There are other guests I’d like to bring on, semi-permanent hosts I’ve been working to get into the act, and other neat stuff, too… but if I want to get done what I’d like to get done, I also need the break.

It is not dead, just resting.

BuJoRPG Development

I get a lot of traffic from YouTube, Twitter, and Instagram when I post or talk about the BuJoRPG. I knew people would like the concept but I’m shocked at how much traction it is already getting. This, of course, pushes me to develop a little harder than I was before, and I probably won’t be talking about it for entire shows (the Specter Show, for example) until the next release is ready.

There is a direction I definitely want to take the system in, I want to have a “collector” version (where you’re unlocking characters to collect), and I definitely want to figure out a way to have some sort of “encounter” within the confines of self improvement. I’ve been calling that last part combat up until recently.

With the next release I want to update the Wuxia template and release a brand new template, too. I’m hoping others will get in on the game and create some templates, and I’ll even link them here with full credits to the creators.

The Specter Show

When I started the Specter Show, I wasn’t super sure what I was going to talk about. Updates from the site, some discussion about what happened on the Greatest Show, and a single main topic has really developed out of the show that I didn’t really want to keep up with in that way.

The last episode, the Specter Show 020: Throw This Away, I spent most of the episode discussing a single topic. This is more than likely going to be the way I go from here, talking about a single geeky topic that I love and if there is some “news” that needs to be discussed in a semi-timely manner, I’ll include that, too.

My listenership has dipped a little, but I’m still getting enough downloads to make me happy and driven to want to continue. With Apple’s WWDC announcement about podcasts (this isn’t the announcement, but they do talk about podcasting a bit), I’m really interested to see what I can use the information for in order to develop my main show into something bigger. The gist of the announcement is that there is going to be heavy back end data that I’ll have access to in order to see what my listeners want to hear, what the skip, and I can develop new shows from that point to improve the site as a whole.

Serial Fiction

If you don’t understand why this topic header is here, go listen to the Specter Show released yesterday.

The latest craze sweeping the Internet is serial fiction. People are posting short “chapters” of fiction that may or may not be geared towards eventually making them into a novel. Some people are just posting them in one, long continuous story. The Starkiller Cycle, for instance, is just a side project for a couple of authors on the side, whereas places like SerialBox and SerialTeller are places for serial fiction authors (SerialBox is for professionals, SerialTeller is for the rest of us).

As you can imagine, or if you have a long enough memory, you will realize I’ve been trying to do something like this for over a decade and with the Greatest Show going on hiatus, this is the chance I have to start something up.

I am toying with two release models, both of which I will use to see which one works best for my audience (and my own personal schedule). SerialTeller suggests chapters be between 600-1,250 words and be released at least twice a month. I personally believe that 600 words is way too small, but I am going to utilize this model to see how it works for my storytelling. I have a series that will be utilizing this format for at least the first “season,” then I will see if it continues in that format.

The other format I’m toying with is the one I call the HBO format. Using 1,000-2,000 word “episodes,” I’ll release a season at a time in 12 to 13 straight weeks. After the season, another story will be told using the same format. This can be done four times in a year because 52 weeks breaks down into four 13 week segments. Welcome to HBO’s model.

Am I looking to do four series a year, rotating in a new series now and then? Not right away, but there is certainly room for that… unless the SerialTeller model works better for me. I do like the idea of a non-continuous release schedule, though.

The Doctor Who Podcast(ing)

I mentioned on the Specter Show a ways back about reading episode synopses for Doctor Who and putting out the audio as a podcast. Well, with the hiatus of the Greatest Show, this is going to start happening. There will be time to record some episodes and as promised, I’m looking at releasing at least the first two stories before deciding whether or not I’ll continue.

There is another thing I toyed with and I thought I’d put it out here, just in case someone else is interested.

What if there were synopsis reads that had some added value? I’m actually talking about using the Doctor Who story with a little “rework,” something to make the whole of Doctor Who fit into a narrative (created by me, and others if they want to help). How about an example?

An Unearthly Child is a story (four episodes) about the Doctor, Susan, Ian, and Barbara going back to 100,000 BC and helping get a tribe back on the right track with fire building. Now, with my “narrative addition,” I’d add something like an observer in the background… or a whole additional episode dealing with something related to the cavemen but including a Silurian (just a thought)… or perhaps we learn something about the Doctor that we didn’t know before…

The idea is to “refresh” Doctor Who a bit, and allow me some creativity towards one of my favorite properties. I’ve also thought of slipping in a few of my own stories, like the one where William Hartnell’s Doctor and Colin Baker’s Doctor try to undo a failed time experiment. What about the one where all versions of the Master combine to finally make a run at the Doctor in a way they never have before (the as-yet-unseen multiple Master story)?

These are just thoughts. I’d love feedback.

Comic Book Universe

The hiatus is the launch of a few of my project options, notwithstanding, the one where I start creating my comic books. The Greatest Show isn’t a crutch on this one, nor is it on the serial fiction part, but I’m using the added free time to really get into the projects I wanted to actually complete.

I want to have a full script written for my initial graphic novel before December 31 2017. I want to have the first GN drawn before the end of 2018. I want to release the first GN as soon as possible after that, all the while I work on the next installment in the shared universe I’ve spent the better part of two decades working on.

Hopefully you are excited in reading what I’m offering, and hopefully the price point is more than sweet for you to actually pay to read it. I’m pretty sure I’ve got it nailed just right, but I don’t want to let the cat out of the bag, yet.

Site Branding

The last thing I want to cover is the Emerald Specter brand.

This isn’t about changing the theme on the website, or totally redesigning the direction I want to go in… or even about changing anything major about what I’m already doing.

I am talking about giving the site a definitive identity as far as branding goes, so if you see the Emerald Specter logo you can guarantee that logo means “x” rather than “what the hell is that?”

With the serial fiction, my series will all be given “banners” with “An Emerald Specter Original” on it. The podcasts will also be branded with the logo, some with “exclusive” and some with other terms, so that you can start seeing the logo as a meaning of a certain level of quality.

But DJ, the Greatest Show, while entertaining, has always had a fast and loose feeling… how will that change with “quality” control?

When I used to run my old website, LimeFlavored.com, I had an accompanying podcast with that where I was firmly using a show format to produce the episodes. I had a rundown, how long to talk about which topics, and all the prompts to keep me from “umming” and “ah-ing” my way through the audio. I haven’t really ever done that for the Greatest Show.

When the Greatest Show returns, there will be a format… new graphical elements (like cover art on both YouTube and this website when the audio version is put out), new video elements (like an original opening and closing sequence), we will have a firm rundown (a list of topics that we will stick to, or if we have what we had on episode 134 with Quinny, we’ll roll with the wonderful impromptu stuff because it turned out awesome), and we will have themes. Geeky, nerdy, pop culture, and generally entertaining themes.

The Specter Show will also be soon using a rundown on a weekly basis. I’ve been doing the show off the cuff and while I’m getting better at that, I want to be far more professional sounding than I currently am. There will be some audio changes in the future, too, as I establish my rundown creation I’ll also start ramping up the audio quality. While I don’t have a podcast studio at present, recording in sound quality environments will begin occurring as soon as humanly possible.

With both the Greatest Show and the Specter Show, editing will be happening more frequently and with more care. I still like the live aspect of the Greatest Show but consideration for removing the live element will be considered in favor of a higher quality product.

Any new podcast will BEGIN with this higher quality of audio production, which means that you won’t get a new podcast until you start noticing a wonderfully improved Specter Show. I am setting a deadline, including that in my bullet journal, and that way I’ll achieve that goal.

I don’t expect millions of people to this site, but I’d really like to be able to expect a couple thousand, even if only to check things out. The branding is about accomplishing that goal.

Lastly, if you were wondering what 2,000 words looks like for the serial fiction, this column is 2,411 words long. I just wanted to give you an idea at what you’d be looking at for reading.

Thank you, and think on it.

Look at the Address

Hey there Specter fans… are you still using LimeFlavored.com as the URL for this site? Are you aware this is now EmeraldSpecter.com? No?

I write this knowing that some people are still using the old address. Maybe that’s out of habit. Maybe that’s an old link you’re following from someone else’s site. Hell, maybe you just like the tastiest website on the planet and you can’t let that URL go. I just need to tell you that the URL may not be mine in the near future and if you want to continue coming here for the Emerald Specter goodness, you may want to start using the new URL.

Just a quick thought.

A Review of Assassin’s Creed III (The Movie)

This is the review of the third (numbered) installment of the YouTube movie series for Assassin’s Creed.

ac3My favorite line comes from the mentor to the assassin in this one: “I’m not even going to try to pronounce (his name).”  The main character’s actual name is Ratonhnhaké:ton, though he is also called Connor… which is how I’m going to identify him.

Connor is the result of a swerve at the beginning, which is a twist in the story, and once we see Connor is the one we are going to be following.  He starts out in much the same way Ezio did, not really knowing what he needed to know but we get to see the progress happen a little more quickly than we did with Ezio.  The other thing is the deep connection to the Revolutionary War, which in my opinion, was a great backdrop to the action going on.

The story was enthralling enough to keep me watching right through in one sitting, which is the first time I’ve done that with these AC movies… and this is the final bell for Desmond, but I won’t tell you why that is… you should check the movie out to find out why!

I give this one five out of five stars AND I think this is the best one so far…

These Times They Are A Changing

Did you notice the change in the background?  If you haven’t, you’re probably too new here to have caught that… for those that did, I hope that something in your mind said “hey, what’s with the different thing?”  That’s what I would like to mention.

When I bought Lime Flavored.com way back in 2000, I wanted a website that could be quirky and emulate one (or more) of the websites that I found interesting back at the time.  As time went on, those sites I wanted to emulate changed but I wanted to emulate someone.  I’ve had some favorite designs but overall, I’ve been fairly dissatisfied with the results and 14 years later, Lime Flavored.com has been born again and trying to become something new, some truly original.

Whether the fault lies with just me or has been the inconsistency over the years, Lime Flavored.com has been many things but almost none of them have stuck around long enough to get any traction.  That, in my eyes, means it’s time for a fresh start.

Over the course of the next few months I’ll be altering the website to reflect the new identity, the new URL.  Lime Flavored.com will shortly become empty, dead, whatever, and will be replaced by something that has no history, no track record, and nothing associated with it.  Those who are inquisitive enough, or smart enough, will figure out what the new URL is within a few minutes and the rest of you will just have to wait until I announce the change.

I’m not blasting the site clean.  I’m not uninstalling and reinstalling anything.  From this moment on, things will slowly transition and just like the WWE, I’ll slowly stop calling myself one thing and start calling myself another.  When that new thing starts is when I’ll try to kick the new vision into high gear.

Lime Flavored.com lasted from January 4, 2000 to July 12, 2014… essentially.  I will actually retain control of the domain name in the hopes someone would like to buy it and use it for something different, but the new domain name will become my new online identity.

This is your warning.  Don’t be shocked when more things change, because they WILL change.  Just know that I’m altering my online identity and that should result in a renewed vigor for creativity.

I’m moving to a new place, why not start online fresh, too?

Kristen Stewart is Famous… You Are Not

To everyone who says that Keanu Reeves is a cardboard cutout of an actor.  To everyone who says Kristen Stewart’s facial expressions range at just one.  To everyone who says that any famous person, especially one who gets a lot of work, is two dimensional… just remember one thing: they are famous and you are not.

KS_haters_gonna_hateKeanu Reeves has played a wide range of roles in his time as an actor, yet, people only ever associate him with “Ted” from Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.  If he wasn’t a good actor, at least somewhat, he wouldn’t keep getting top notch roles in Hollywood.  These aren’t even B or C list roles, people, they are A list roles.  Hell, he’s headlining more often than he isn’t and he’s played everything from a time traveling writer to white trailer trash.  The man can act and despite what you think, he’s way more famous than you are… which means if you think he’s terrible, what does that make you?  You couldn’t act your way out of the living room while watching a cereal commercial on Saturday morning, so don’t judge.

Kristen Stewart has been getting top notch roles, too.  She’s got more than one facial expression and I don’t give a damn what anyone says: she is hot.  Hating on her?  Well, the same logic I just used on Keanu up there applies to Kristen Stewart, too.  Hell, she’s now part of one of the most popular franchises out there… and you all hate that because you want to double dip hating the author, who I can use the “you couldn’t write your name compared to Stephenie Meyer”, and hating the actress… who you know has more talent in her left butt cheek than you do in your entire ancestry.

Just shut up.  I’m tired of hearing you hate on someone, justifying it however you will.  Hate them.  But do it quietly.

iOS vs. Android

upload-your-photos-instagram-without-android-apple-device.w654

I don’t like Android.  My dislike of the OS is based on having actually used a version, multiple versions actually, and I dislike the experience.  The phone that actually drove me to iPhone was the phone running Android 2.something… and the phone was a Samsung, which was a double suck.

This isn’t about how much I don’t really like Android.  (Before you judge, I was using the most current version of Android on the tablet I was using to play Ingress on.)  This is about how much of the excuses I like to term as “lame” people use to justify why they don’t like the competitor.

I’ll use some metaphors, first.

I don’t like Coke because the can is red.  Really?  You don’t like the can so you don’t like the taste?

I don’t like Pepsi because the company is run by a douche.  Well, based on that you should really be hating on the Hobby Lobby assholes, right?  Disliking the product because of the person who runs the company is lame-sauce supreme.

I’ve been told that iOS is terrible because the phone doesn’t have a “back” button.  I’ve been told iOS is awful because you can’t arrange the icons into the shape of Mickey Mouse’s head.  I’ve been told iOS sucks because Steve Jobs is a douche bag.  I’ve been told iOS lacks awesome because it doesn’t run “X” app.

How many of those excuse wielding idiots have actually used iOS?  None.  Not one single person who used those excuses has even used the OS.  How can you hate something you have never experienced?  I don’t like Android, but I’ve USED the OS.

The same argument against Macs have been used to favor Windows, too.  You can’t tinker on a Mac.  Windows has more options.  Windows is this… Windows is that… You know what?  I don’t WANT to tinker.  I don’t WANT those options because those options come with viruses.  I use a Mac, and iOS, because it just WORKS.  I don’t need to have defray run every other day, I don’t have to pull the battery out of my phone to get it to start working again.  My stuff just WORKS.  And the best part: it all works TOGETHER.

Next time you open your mouth to complain that iOS sucks or that Android can’t do this… stop.  Stop and actually try using the other one.  I don’t mean play around with an iPod at Best Buy for a whopping 37 seconds, I’m talking about using the phone for something longer than a week.  Maybe you’ll find out that the choice isn’t right for you… but at least you’ll have an excuse better than “I can’t buy an iPhone in fuchsia.”  I can’t help you, you’re stupid.

Ingress for iOS has Arrived

It’s about damn time, too.

photoThe game that I’ve been playing on a crappy Android tablet, tethered to my wife’s HotSpot, is finally out for iOS so that I can Ingress wherever, and whenever, I choose.  Starting this morning, I got to stretch my playing legs to squeeze in some early morning play by walking a bit before work.  After work, there was more Ingress playing involved and I couldn’t be happier.

Well, that’s not entirely accurate.

In the iOS version, you apparently can’t submit portals yet.  Well, slight snag, sure, but I can still do almost everything else one can do in the game.  Hell, my primary goal today was setting up, linking, and hacking as much as possible… and I get to do it all again tomorrow!

This topic will segue into a topic later this week but let me tell you that for now, Ingress is wicked awesome and my enthusiasm for the game is through the roof!

Go Ingress!

So, So Tired of Haters for the Sake of Hating

Listen up, tools: I’m tired of hating for the sake of hating.  If you do this, you’re a loser.  End of story.

Let’s look at the first thing I’m sick of hearing about being “terrible”: the Star Wars prequels.  You claim to be a big Star Wars fan but you hate half of the movies that came out?  Doesn’t sound like much of a fan to me.

prequelsSo the dialog is a little corny, stiff, or silly.  So some of the names of characters aren’t epic as “chewing tobacco” and “calamari.”  If you don’t love them, you don’t have to.  Just accept them because they are, whether or not you like them, canon.  They ARE part of Star Wars and they will ALWAYS BE part of Star Wars.  Stop whining, you sound like a four year old.

There’s something else to think about… there is an entire generation of kids that have grown up with the prequels as their movies, making the originals look dated and slow.  When you die off, no one will give a crap because you’re not famous or important.  Your opinion will die with you.  Just like their opinion will die with them because the Sequel Trilogy will represent another new generation.

Suck on that, haters.

How about the hate for Twilight?  If you hate Twilight so much, losers, why do you spend almost every waking moment ridiculing it?

KS_haters_gonna_hateThe “better love story than Twilight” is about to become passé.  By that I mean that the phrase is so overused by so many losers that it looses all meaning.  It’s the new “that’s what she said,” which was the replacement for “your mom.”  Yes, the lame “your mom” is exactly what “a better love story than Twilight” has become.  You’re lame.  Yes, you.

Stop hating.  If you really hate something, give it ZERO attention.  ZERO.  Z-E-R-O.  What gives things like this grounds to thrive?  ATTENTION.  Yes, you want to hate Twilight, do it silently.  You want to hate Hunger Games?  Do it silently.  You want to hate Stephen King or Anne Rice?  Do it silently.  The more publicity you give something the more traction that something gets the more popular that something gets and thus the more “in your face” that something gets.

See?  You’re too lame to even figure that out.

Think about it for just a second before opening your pie hole.

It’s Happening… But When?

Like the title says, it’s happening… but when?  That is the signifier that it is closer than ever to the time when I actually leave one state for a permanent move to another.  I am moving, I just don’t have a set date yet.

Yes, I am actually moving out of North Dakota.

Work has progressed in a general direction of being great (with what I used to do and would like to do again in the future) to somewhat less great (with having to deal with people rather than just doing a job).  I’m openly saying this because I’m beginning to not care what people think.  Hell, I haven’t called anyone out or mentioned anything specific… and probably won’t, so stop digging for dirt.

In a conversation with a friend at work yesterday, we both remarked (in one form or another) that we were in school (elementary, high school, whatever) and thought “I can’t wait to get out into the real world so I don’t have to deal with other peoples’ drama.”  We both then came to realize that those people we were trying to get away from are all over the place.  THEY got out, too, and decided to keep creating drama.

I’m moving away from all of that, though.  Not that I believe where I’m going isn’t going to have some level of drama, no I’m sure that there will be drama… I just won’t have to deal with people who’s drama is exactly the same drama all across the board.  I don’t have to listen to one person tell me one thing and then hear they’re telling someone else the exact opposite thing (in my opinion because they want to look cool).  The opposite thing, by the way, isn’t coming from work… hint, hint to shut your mouth.

No, I think that will still go on.  The major problem with my current location is that everyone has “worked with me in a non-supervisory role” and will have issues accepting me as an authority figure. So, when I move, no problems because they’ll only know me as an authority figure.  Major problem solved.

That isn’t actually why I’m moving, though.  The reason I’m moving is because I hate North Dakota.  I have never really liked living here, I don’t like the weather, I don’t like the personalities, I don’t like the culture, I don’t like the people, I don’t like the emptiness, and I don’t like the political leanings.  If you aren’t a straight, white, old man who is firmly of Christian beliefs then this state is not for you.  Yes, that’s right, I live in a terrible place.

Women are second class citizens.  Men make all decisions and are expected to make all the decisions.  Women aren’t smart enough to do anything important without a man.  All the jobs are in the oil field.  You have to like hunting, guns, and farming or you’re a fucking communist.  Yep, the vast wasteland that is North Dakota is a pointless and barren place full of people I don’t want to be around… and the landscape sucks ass, too.

Ever driven somewhere and felt you were in a race?  That’s called “going to work” in North Dakota.  It’s also called “going to get lunch,” “going to the grocery store,” “going to the movie,” “going over to a friend’s house,” “going to the mall,” and basically any other combination of “going” with a destination.

Want to get into another lane?  Turn your signal on and watch the other “courteous drivers” actually SPEED UP to prevent you from merging.  How about the blinker being a decoration rather than a valuable part of the driving experience?  What about the predominance of pick up trucks on the road that serve no more purpose than to display how tiny the penises of the drivers?  Yep, that’s North Dakota.

I hate this place.  I can’t wait to leave.

Where am I going?  That’s for a later date.  I’ll be counting the days until I can move and when I can move, I’ll be so happy I’ll probably record a video of me bouncing off the walls.  Moving will be great.

Thanks for letting me rant.  I’ll miss a few people but unfortunately, I’d rather miss the few than put up with the many to stay.

DJ