Fitness Specter 24 – Old Habits Die Hard

Hello… I’m fat and I have an eating problem.

Portion control has always been the bane of my existence. I tend to look at an amount of food and judge that amount as insufficient, whether or not the amount IS actually sufficient. I love the largest meals at restaurants, I can’t help but to finish the food on my plate because that is how I was taught to do it. As of this morning, I’m reigning all my problems in.

My wife and I started lifting weights together three days ago. She’s having a grand old time because there is more activity than just a walk, which was what we did to lose all our weight, and though she isn’t seeing results on the scale, she’s feeling better. I, on the other hand, am failing and I’m gaining weight… I don’t like that.

I’m going to eat somewhere in the neighborhood of 1500 calories today. That’s not very much, and I may even extend that to 2000, but that is my absolute ceiling. Today, I have to do a butt ton of cardio and because of my size, walking is going to have to be that cardio. I’m at the “uncomfortably large” stage again, where doing most things isn’t the easiest thing to do. I’m still eating healthy but I’m apparently eating too much healthy. I need to eat less.

I’ll be pushing as much water as I can today, too. I’m aiming for about 100 ounces and maybe that will help kickstart this body of mine again, too. I’ve been drinking more water lately, but I haven’t been drinking enough. I’m going to double, maybe triple, my current intake… so that should indicate to you how little I’ve been drinking.

I’m one of the few people in the world who loves to eat to the point where about a third of my day is thinking about food. When I wake up, I’m hungry and start thinking about breakfast. About 2 hours later, I’m pondering lunch and that lasts anywhere from 2 to 3 hours… or until I eat it, really. Supper pondering comes after that for about the same amount of time and then I have the issue of dessert contemplation. I need to think about other things and I am not entirely sure how I’m going to train myself to accomplish that particular goal.

All in all, I’m having a hard time doing what I did to get me to where I’m at and I’m also losing the battle at keeping things off because I’m sliding into my old habits… the OLD habits. I’m eating a big meal and finishing my wife’s, just like I used to and that makes me unhappy. I need to start trimming my own intake and stop eating hers. Dessert needs to be a once a month thing instead of more often and that dessert should start being things that others don’t consider dessert: like yogurt.

I am climbing back on the horse today, metaphorically, and trying to ride this bitch into lighter weight. I have no ability to eat more than I bring with me at work today as long as I don’t take the car somewhere. That part is easy: not leaving. When I get home, I’m going to take the wife shopping because she wanted to check somethings out at a particular store. Walking around is how that gets done and I need to walk.

My goal today is 11,000 steps, 1,000 over my normal daily requirement. I’ve failed to meet my daily steps for the past 7 days and I need to start stepping my game up again. I’m tired of being fat and I want to make changes… now.

Sorry about this rant, I needed to get it off my chest… you also needed to read it, knowing that I’m not some fitness guru… just someone trying to make a change.

Lift it.

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